Well it's the beginning of the year...

And I'm going to use this more as a journal than anything else. I love writing in notebooks, but I don't find the time or don't have a pretty enough book or shiny enough pen...always something. Hopefully writing something down every day will help with the crap that haunts me every day. I'm not sure, don't remember where I was or what I was doing the last time that I updated this blog, so I'll just update to what I am now: I live alone with my kids, my ex gets them one week and I get them the next. Actually that was the beginning of the agreement but for the past two months that has only been the arrangement for my daughter who is 7 because my 14 year old son is currently living full time with me. He did something stupid and then his 40 year old dad did something stupid in return and since two wrongs don't make a right my son has decided to stay and live with me full time "permanently" he says. Both of them are hard headed so who knows how long this will last, it might actually BE forever. I don't have a problem with this, but I do hope they forgive each other for each other's sake. I work full time and come home and do the mom thing and I'm exhausted....like I'm pretty sure most moms are. So it's the beginning of the year and I don't have resolutions per se, I have things that I would love to accomplish: Eat better, move more, save money, go to church...those are my basics anyway. I got a FitBit for Christmas and I have a gym membership that I pay every month, and I hope that that helps with the moving more part. I've lost weight in the past so I know how to keep a balanced diet...I just need to stick with it. Snacking is my downfall. As for saving money, I don't make a lot and most of my money goes to my expenses but there needs to be a way that I can squeeze a little bit to put away...it's totally necessary. I also need to find a church that I'm comfortable with and love so that I can start taking the kids and myself too. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love and who loves me but I'm not sure exactly where we stand other than we love each other and we're at a standstill...for about the past year. In a deadlock about seeing each other when and who will move where...for now it is what it is. And he's told me that being this way is better than being alone so I know how he feels and I guess until one of us gets tired of the 45 minute drive it is what it is. I'm all over the place with this, but I'm just trying to get my feelings into order. Hopefully the next post will be a lot better.

So this is me at the beginning of 2016, onto hopefully bigger and better things this year. Onward and forward